This is what Europe referred to as 'the final countdown'. That's right, kids, t-minus sixteen hours and counting until Hardcore Joel a.k.a. Bart Wang walks down the aisle as a bachelor and walks back as a married man. Ok, 'man' is a stretch. A married boy then... Today was the rehearsal and dinner. We added some stuff to spice it up a little. Seriously, few people will ever come up with funnier/cooler stuff at their wedding than will occur tomorrow. Since no one really reads this, or you'll read it after the fact, I'll set the stage for you.
First off, let me say this. I've not fantasized about my wedding like a woman has. I haven't pined over the napkins or a dress or those things. The wedding night, sure, but not the ceremonial details. I have, however, wanted two things. Ok, maybe three. Of course, I wanted a woman to marry me and to show up on the wedding day. That will hopefully happen tomorrow. The other things I've wanted were a killer band to play some kick-ass worship songs to God and to march down the aisle to the theme from 'Shaft'. Guess who's wedding has a killer band and will have the groom and best men walk down the aisle to the theme from 'Shaft'? Yep, that's me. Isaac Hayes was busy so we'll just use the recorded version of the song. 'Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?' Not Joel, he's a one woman man!
Ok, I'll write more. Whitney and Laurie are here and want to hear 'The Poopsmith Song' by Over The Rhine. You can't fight that stuff. I'll be back.
I'm back, about an hour later. We chatted. Whitney and Laurie are awesome. Oh, where was I now? Yeah, so the wedding is about to kick ass. It's got everything, a gorgeous bride, excellent music, high-fives. There's nothing else you could possibly want. That's it. I'm beat. I'm going to find the directions to the hotel tomorrow night (I am not a confident driver in the best of situations, much less on my wedding day) and pack (might as well bring some stuff to Mexico with me, right?). Hope you're having a fine day. Those of you who read this and weren't there (that includes you, Bill & Ronee, Michelle G., Jonathan A. and Lapdog), you were missed. PEACE! See you on the other (i.e., non-virgin) side!
posted by HCJoel at 11:00 PM
